So...What do we do now?

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Listen...Listen

Heard someone say the other day that they didn't trust "anyone." It made me so sad for a couple of reasons. First, that they put others on such a pedestal that they can never make a mistake, and secondly, that maybe they are just waiting for that "other shoe to drop." Like they knew all along that someday it would happen. I, myself don't like being put in a place where I start feeling almost nonhuman; you know that walking on eggshells thing, and Hoof & Mouth disease ridden? I realize that others look to me for many different things, for my input, my perception, my thoughts on spiritual things, but even all this can only be taken as truth once you've researched it for yourself. Knowing where real Truth is found is the answer, and I do try to point them that way. There have been so many times that I have asked God, "why me?" Why do I have to run the risk of letting another down, or disappointing and hurting them? Why can't I just be a regular gal too? I forgive, why can't others? Why does the acid in my gut bother me so much longer than anyone else? Getting angry is such a dead ended reaction. Rationalizing and justifying don't make the cut either. I just know that when I propose all these questions to God, He consistently says the same thing..."Why not you?" I think of all the men and women in the Bible that lived lives full of poor decisions, of rash decisions, and didn't learn their lessons any easier than most of us. Life can certainly become complicated sometimes, especially when we have absolutely zero room for anything else to be happening. I believe that simplicity is what God intended...in our day to day lives, and especially in our relationships, and I long for it. When I read scriptures like, "greater is He that is in me, than He that is in the world," "Love one another as I have loved you," "be not conformed to this world, but be transformed...," "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another..." and the list goes on and on and on, I am sure that we all make it way too hard. Satan likes that. He likes it when we loose heart, or hope, and don't believe that there is any way out. What's it say? "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen." We are definitely in God's "darkroom," and He is developing us, even though there are times that I get to feeling like a double exposure! Great word picture, don't you think? Thank God, that these bumps in the road are not the end, but just a part of our journey. My good friend Sue had a very timely blog today on her website (www.welcomeheart.com) and wrote, "sometimes God uses all sorts of things to remind us that He wants our attention --I need to go move up my chair to get a better look." "Listen, listen to Me . . .give ear and come to Me; that your soul may live."
(Isaiah 55:2,3) Sometimes it takes two "listen's," doesn't it?

Solitute...well, kind of.

I am preparing to leave for a few days for some solitute, or at the very least, a change of scenery. Lindsay has been here for a long overdue visit before she takes her leave for San Francisco. She will be entering an internship at an architectural firm there for eleven wks. I miss her still, even though she has been out from under our roof for almost five years now. I was sharing with her this a.m. that all the changes that surround this time of life for me seem to have more "teeth" to them. I've become pretty flexible, I think, but every once in a while, as in this once in a while, I find myself tensing up a little. My baby (25) is moving to a big city and will be going it completely alone. Is she apprehensive? That would be a resounding NO!, which makes me feel a little better, I guess. Ah, what danger lurks to snatch up my young. I reminded her this morning that she had been given back to God when she was just a baby, and I do not, nor can I, take her back. What safer arms could she be in than that of her heavenly Father's? But, humanly speaking, I am just not that good at completely letting go. Thankfully, He knows that, and patiently goes about His business of refining us both in this sometimes painful process. I think now, after writing this, that this dilemma has been what has been in part, bothering me for the past several days. I have been trying to put my finger on what the problem was...teary, unsettled, feeling somewhat a failure in most things, sometimes hopeless, allowing my emptiness to bleed over into other important relationships that could make me feel better about myself, but weren't up to the task. This blogging stuff can be somewhat cathartic, I guess. Thank you, God!
Well, back to my plans...I'm going to the mountains, and look forward to lots of talking, sharing, walking, laughing, & spending time with some friends. I can smell the pine already. Guess my biggest problem now is to find my sweats. So, now to the task. Thanks for visiting.
Maybe you have a "burr under your saddle" that you can't understand. Put yourself in a place where God can talk to you, uninterrupted....He will!

Psalm 121:1-4

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. He will not let your feet go out from under you. He Who watches over you will not sleep. Listen, He Who watches over Israel will not close his eyes or sleep.

Important Days to Remember...

Sometimes I am reminded vividly of what the Apostle Paul said & here's a song from an old musical, written in his paraphrased words..."That which I would not, that do I do, my spirit's weak and waverin', whoops! There it flew. My sin is creeping over me, I'm covered up with flesh, the carnal man's controllin' me, I just a bunch of mesh..."
Some of you out there in cyberspace may have fallen prey to my email this a.m. After waking to check my AOL box, and the first thing I see is Ms. Rosie O'Donnell's ever changing face as she is spewing her opinion of Gov. Palin, I just lost all reason and wrote down how this has affected me. Sometimes we do and say such strange things when we feel our way of life is threatened. Take Matt Damon for instance. I was just a bit taken back when he shared his outlook as well. Since when, did we regress back to our early childhood? Remember the days when there was always a mean kid on your block or the playground? A child who's only mission in life was to intimidate and control others that were weak in any way. Do any of you see the parallel? Well, as soon as I hit the "send" key for that email, I started getting responses. Don't get me wrong, since that was precisely my point. However, so far I have seen that this whole political upheaval that we are witnessing is directly due to fear. That's all. It has not as much to do with issues, or character, or integrity, but in my opinion has to do with the fear of being found out, and/or seen for who we really are. You know how quickly days, weeks, months and years pass by the older we get? Well, the reality that this life will come to an end and we will be held accountable according to what we do is staring many in the face. This is for some a hard pill to swallow. Especially when that isn't the way most people live. "Eat, drink, & be merry, for tomorrow we die(or not)!" When Barack Obama first came on the scene he was pretty persuasive, wasn't he? No one was judging his lack of experience then, but many were upset with President Bush. Then the longer we watched him as he approached different stages of his political venue, we saw him make judgments that we had to make choices about. To salute or not salute the flag, to wear or not to wear a flag lapel pin, to remove the flag from his official airplane and replace it with his personal insignia, to vacillate about his opinions so to keep the "masses" happy, to lack decisive ideas that he has stayed with to this day, to answer questions with questions, etc., etc., etc. Does he seem like a "nice guy?" Sure...but when it comes down to true and decisive leadership, is that what we want?
My blogs are usually more about my own personal journey with my God, but I really believe that this election is very important to Him, because of it's importance to us in so many ways. I really believe that this is an opportune time for us to "have an answer for every man (woman, child,) for the hope that is within us". I Peter 3:15 & "Be on your guard and stay awake. Your enemy, the devil, is like a roaring lion, sneaking around to find someone to attack." I Peter 5:8
"Greater is He that is in me, than He that is in the World." I John 4:4
Happy Hunting...as in Good Will!